i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
