it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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