There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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