Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it was like eating out sand paper
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
