I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
