apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
