can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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