he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
