chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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