I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
