Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My penis needs a shock collar
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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