I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
