i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
