What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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