I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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