She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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