he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
