How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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