Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
