I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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