I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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