Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize
