For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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