but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
