So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
