I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
