maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
