Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
