Already got asked if we're dating
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
there is puke in my bra ... again
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
