Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
