is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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