Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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