She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
