if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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