My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm both gender and math confused
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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