whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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