I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
