I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
