Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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