how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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