ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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