they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
