I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
