I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
