It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
