Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
