Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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