when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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