I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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