My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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