he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
