She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
