So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
