I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
