Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
